


Still, Here I Go

by Party_Flavor



Series: Hamgelica [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Character Development, F/M, Fluff, Historical Inaccuracy, Period-Typical Sexism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 18:35:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16392977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Party_Flavor/pseuds/Party_Flavor
Summary: After Angelica runs away to marry Alexander, both her and Eliza struggle to find their place in the world under these new circumstances, the threat of war looming over their day to day.The second installment of the series, I strongly recommend reading the first part before this one.





	Still, Here I Go

A question haunted Angelica constantly ever since she had left his father’s house to live with Alexander, everywhere she went, judging eyes looked at her with a single inquiry that echoed in her head every time she had a moment alone: Have you forgotten your duty? What they really meant, to ask was if she had forgotten she was obligated to marry rich and maintain the Schuyler reputation, she was supposed to care for her father’s honor and live the rest of her life in a way that would appease him.  
No, she hadn’t forgotten, she remembered very clearly. She remembered being 15 years old when he first forbid her from entering the library.

 

“You’ve been reading” Angelica rolled her eyes at the accusation before turning around.

“I have” He raised his eyebrow, too confrontational, she had to step back. “Is my reading material not to your liking, father?” He took out the offending book from behind his back and placed in a desktop next to her, the offender Edmund Burke.

“I know you took this book without my permission and against my desires, Angelica. I will not stand for your disrespect any longer-”

“Father!” A desperate plea to bargain, but an interruption that worsened the situation.

“Silence! From now on the library will be locked at all times, if you wish for new reading material you will ask me first” She started to tremble, eyes fixed on the ground. “Is that understood?” She mumbled a reply. “Angelica” A warning. She took a deep breath a looked straight up at a fixed point in the horizon, her heartbeat skittish.

“Yes” Suddenly everything slowed down, his hand as it rapidly approached her cheek, his face as it clenched up to a cold expression, the piercing slap of flesh hitting flesh, and lastly the pain across her face. She made a couple of steps backwards and blinked repeatedly to get rid of the dizziness, when she did so her mind immediately made the connection: an amateur mistake, really.

“Is that understood?” The question repeated like time had gone backwards a couple of seconds.

“Yes, sir.”

He vanishes, like he hadn’t ever been there in the first place and Angelica takes the book and sits down next to the table. As she attempts to open the first page her vision blurs and tears start patterning down her face. No sobs are heard, and before anyone can notice she uses a handkerchief to wipe off the tears and starts reapplying her makeup.  
Just when she thought she had gotten away with it, Eliza enters her room quietly, and sits down next to her.

“Is everything alright?” she moves her torso forwards, hoping to make eye-contact.

“Yes” Gently, Eliza’s hands pry the book away from Angelica, she reads the title and frowns.

“You know father doesn’t want you to read this kinds of books.” Her tone is gentle, not reprimanding, just searching for an explanation.

“Father doesn’t want me to read any kinds of books, he doesn’t want me to have opinions” Angelica counters, pouting.

“He just wants you to find a good husband, he’s worried about you” Eliza sets down the book and starts combing her fingers through Angelica’s hair.

“My future husband matters more to him than me”

“Oh, Angie” Eliza leans against her for a couple of seconds and Angelica basks in her warmth. “How about we go for a walk, so you can clear your mind a little bit?”

“Sounds good. Thank you, Liz”

 

Yes, Angelica remember her duty she just knew what her real duty was: To make sure Eliza married to someone who would make her happy, to be there for her when she needed comfort, and to make sure she knew how much she loved her.

***

Eliza rubbed her father's back and pat his shoulders in an unsuccessful attempt to comfort him, Peggy sitting on his other side and resting her head on his shoulder. The agonizing silence was suddenly broken by a maid with a cup of tea for everyone, they could still afford it even with the taxes. Everyone immediately looked up and stared at her intently, she tensed up before bowing and hurrying out of the room. However, the moment was still broken, and it's shards pierced through everyone in the form of an impending need for conversation. But what was there to say? It was either to make small talk or to address the elephant in the room.  
Suddenly a message:

“Dr Hunter is here, sir”

Eliza immediately sprinted up, bowed an apology, and hurried to the door.

“Elizabeth, behave yourself.” Philip warned without any heat behind his words, there wasn’t a lot of heat left in him since Angelica had left. Eliza was practically bouncing next to the entrance, Peggy shyly stood next to her. The man finally entered the house, having left his horse to a servant, he smiled as soon as he saw Eliza and promptly kissed her hand as greeting.

“Oliver”

“My Elizabeth”

He stood a couple of inches above her, his hair was unruly despite the visible effort that had gone into it, his skin was pale and freckled revealing his distaste for outdoor activities, his dark hazel eyes shone with child-like curiosity and wonder.

“I have missed you” his voice although soft and vibrant in nature, was also characterized by his Scottish accent regardless of the time he had spent in the colonies. Eliza smiled at his effort, she was aware that he wasn’t proficient at expressing romance and affection through words. Behind them, Philip made his presence known, Hunter wasn’t nervous in the slightest, instead he simply smiled and turned towards the older man.

“Mr Schuyler, sir. It’s always a pleasure.” Even though the words he was saying were traditionally polite, they lacked sentiment, it was too obvious he was reciting protocol. Philip just sighed tiredly, the man was wealthy and respectable enough, and Elizabeth was fond of him, at this point what more could he ask for. He dismissed them with a gesture and headed towards his office. Finally alone they both released a breath, and smiled making eye contact.

“Peggy, dearest, why don’t you go to your room?”

She shrugged wordlessly and followed their father upstairs, as they watched her go Oliver put his arm behind Eliza’s back and pulled her towards him, she turned around, facing him but also putting some distance between them.

“Would you like a cup of tea, Oliver?”

“I’d rather sit near the gardens, I have something I want to show you and it’s much more dazzling under the sunlight” Eliza took his hand wordlessly and they walked outside, through the property, arriving at a bench surrounded by flowers. Oliver took out a trinket from his suitcase and narrated for a long while how he had gotten it, where it came from and what its purpose was, they talked until the sky started turning orange by which point they had to say goodbye.

Eliza arrived to her bedroom and immediately started writing a letter. She talked about how things had been going for her and she told Angelica about her intended for the first time, begging for a time and place they could meet. It was very important for her to have her older sister’s blessing even if she didn’t share her last name anymore, moreover Angelica was an excellent judge of character and her advice would be extremely valuable for her. She insisted her father and sister missed her terribly even if she knew it was futile to attempt any reconciliation. By the end of the letter she asked about Alexander and she offered to lend her some money in case it was needed, she wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing her sister spent the time hungry or cold. Now more than ever Eliza had to take care of Angelica, since Angelica would be busy taking care of someone else.

***

That morning Angelica woke up early and made breakfast for everyone, which was weird since she usually only cared for Alexander. No one had energy to care for 3 men as if they were all their husband, luckily both Hercules and John Laurens were used to caring for themselves in a manner such that they would not starve or contract dangerous illnesses due to unhygienic living conditions.

Therefore, today was a special occasion, today everyone would be starting the journey back to the front. Angelica was scared and hesitant, she couldn’t imagine what being a widow at such a young age could possibly entail, what being alone for the rest of her life could be like. Her hands trembled as she tightened her grip around the pan, and her face paled. It was not her who would be in mortal danger, it was not her who would see comrades fall everyday and live ration to ration, yet the more she attempted to stop worrying and put herself together the more she kept falling apart.

“Angelica, are you alright?” She jumped and turned around.

“John!” She exclaimed as she attempted to smile. “I’m sorry, I’m just-”

“Don’t apologize, it’s a perfectly normal feeling” he stretched his lips upwards but there was no happiness or amusement in his eyes. Angelica looked down, not finding any words to say. “I know you’re used to being strong for your sisters but you don’t have to do that for me. I knew what I was getting into when I enlisted.” He gently coaxed her into talking. She turned off the stove and started serving breakfast, it wasn’t the tastiest meal given the money and skilled she had, but it was edible.

“I just want you to come back home” She finally replied with tiredness and sorrow, immediately afterwards she decided that conversation was over. “Breakfast will be ready soon”

John didn’t dare, or see any merit, on pushing any further. “Thank you”

They remained in an awkward sort of silence, both lost in their thoughts and not comfortable enough to talk to each other. John was still a mystery for Angelica, he seemed nice enough and was clearly and idealist like her husband, but he seemed to struggle with the fact that his best friend was now married and to a runaway rich girl, no less. Sometimes she caught him staring at her intensely, as if trying to figure out is she was real or just a collective hallucination, the rest of their interactions were very stiff as well, Angelica wasn’t used to living with anyone that wasn’t servants or family and John wasn’t used to interacting with women casually, much less living with them. Thankfully the silence was interrupted soon.

“Mrs. Hamilton!” Hercules teased as a form of greeting, walking into the kitchen and patting her in the back. “John, good morning” He added. Angelica’s smile came out almost without her permission, she couldn’t help but feel a wave of excitement and fondness every time she remembered she wasn’t a Schuyler anymore.

“Good Morning, Mr. Mulligan” She countered, emphasizing his last name, since he constantly insisted to be called Hercules. “Would you mind calling Alexander to the table, please? Breakfast is almost ready.”

“Oh, he isn’t here, he left at the crack of dawn.” John intervened. Angelica immediately turned around in surprise.

“Shouldn’t he be packing his backs?” John simply shrugged in response.

“One would expect him to settle down a bit, now that he’s married” Hercules announced in a serious tone, there were a couple of seconds of silence before the whole room erupted with laughter.

“Alexander settling down! That would be a sight to see” Angelica commented

“It would be a little scary” John countered. Meanwhile dinner plates were taken to the table and everyone started getting ready to eat. It was at this moment that a jingle of keys could be heard from the outside, the knob of the door turning sideways. Angelica wasn’t even embarrassed to stand up in excitement, and she even saw the guys do the same from the corner of her eye. From the doorway entered a very formally dressed Alexander, carrying a big folder and a triumphant smile, he then looked up to see three pairs of eyes observing him.

“Good morning everyone” He took off his coat and left his folder in a table. “I was hoping to get here before breakfast was served” He admitted sheepishly. Hercules was quick to approach him and put an arm behind his back.

“And what were you doing, hm?” Hamilton slipped away from him and winked.

“It’s a surprise”

Angelica raised a questioning eyebrow and proceeded to put his plate on the table. “At least you arrived just in time” He hugged her from behind and gushed.  
“It’s worth it, you’ll see.”

***

Once they stepped outside Alexander looked at his watch and stared at the end of the street expectantly, Angelica followed his gaze, not understanding what was going on. A couple of seconds passed when suddenly a carriage made a turned approaching them, and stopping right in front. It was being pulled by two white horses that looked nothing short of regal, matching with the carriage itself which was shiny and ornate. Angelica gaped in confusion, as she noticed Hamilton seemed to be expecting this turn of events.  
From the inside stepped down a tall man with a confident look, sharply dressed but looking energized and excited to be there. Nothing like the rich people Angelica was used to meet at formal balls. She also noted the gun and sword on his belt. The man approached Alexander and gave him a side hug with a pat on the back.

“Alexander! As we agreed?”

“My friend, indeed”

He then turned towards Angelica and kissed the back of her hand.

“Mrs. Hamilton, Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. Have we been introduced properly?” A light suddenly turned on inside her head as she remembered where she had seen him before.

“It’s a pleasure to see you here, sir. I did see you attend the wedding.”

“Well then,” Hamilton interrupted, impatient. “No time to waste!”

“There is no rush, mon ami.” Lafayette teased but also complied, stepping aside so they could get in the carriage. Angelica stepped in first and sat down next to the window,

Alexander followed her and finally Lafayette stepped in, signaling the coachman to get going.

“Can I know where we are going now?” Angelica tiredly asked.

“Definitely not. It’s a surprise”

“He’s very similar to a child, you see?” Lafayette explained in an ‘informative’ tone.

The journey wasn’t too long considering the size of the city and the time of day. Angelica felt a weird sense of Déjà vu observing the streets from a carriage, being able to witness everyone waking up, the revolution far away but always present in their minds. The square where they stopped wasn’t part of the downtown anymore, but it was by no means rich.

Lafayette was the first to get down, Alexander followed and Angelica was last, they walked through a cobblestone street, passing a series of two-story houses with a small patch of pine trees at the very end of the block. They stopped at a seemingly empty one, it was made of stone and had a common orange roof, it’s architecture matched the rest of the neighborhood and the space between it and the next building wasn’t too wide. She was still going through the options in her head as to why they were there, when Alexander took out a set of keys from his pocket.

Her eyes widened and her heart started hammering wildly, unable to maintain her balance she took a few steps back. He put his arm around her back for support and gently guided her hand towards one of the keys, giving it to her. She gripped it tightly while she switched her gaze between Lafayette and Hamilton.

“B-But, how?”

“A small loan and the right contacts” Lafayette winked at her.

“I couldn’t have you living in someone else’s house any longer” Alexander added, beaming. Angelica hugged him tightly, and hid herself in his chest while she regained her composure. Afterwards, she walked up to Lafayette and gently took his hand in hers.

“You have my most sincere thanks, sir. I am… quite overwhelmed to be honest”

“Call me Gilbert please. And, it was all his idea” He motioned towards Hamilton.

All three of them entered the house, but Gilbert stayed in the doorway, allowing the couple to talk about how the house would be furnished and decorated. Excited voices and giggles resonated through the walls for the rest of the morning.

***

Angelica’s lip trembled, but she took a deep breath, summoning all of her strength.

“Are you sure you have everything?” She peered at his bag from behind his back.

“I already double checked, love” He turned around and kissed her forehead with an empty smile.

“Sorry, sorry… I-” She wanted to retreat but he caught her in his arms.

“I know”

“John, please take care of him out there, don’t let him do anything dumb.” Angelica plead, turning towards the living room where John was.

“Hey! If anything it’s me who’ll be taking care of John” Hamilton complained.

“Don’t worry Mrs. Hamilton, I’ll watch out for him” John promised with a nod of his head.

“And Herc, you’ll be all alone in Europe… watch your back, and make sure to come back when we win.” Angelica walked towards him and touched his forearm lightly, he reassured her firmly.

“Loud and clear ma’m”

“Love, don’t cry, we’ll be fine”

“I’m not crying,  _you’re_ crying”

“We’re _all_ crying” The four of them hugged for a few minutes before saying goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> Quick Disclaimers: -I've never been to New York, much less 1700's New York, so if any description seems inaccurate be sure to let me know.  
> -English is not my first language.  
> -This is not meant to be a meticulous description of the misogyny typical of the XVII and XVIII century although these topics will be addressed lightly for the purpose of building character, and making sure they make some sense within their context. What I mean is you should take the situations I describe as mainly fictional and by no means a reliable account. If you're interested in academic literature regarding this topic, please let me know and I'll make sure to send some your way.  
> -Eliza will not be in love with Hamilton in this series, although I respect this trope and I have nothing against those who write it, I'm not a fan of the implication that she couldn't have been happy with anyone else.


End file.
